I'm Coming Home...

Before leaving Bolivia, a friend made a list of things she will miss about Bolivia, as well as things she is excited to see and experience in the States. I thought it was a great idea, and a way to wrap up my time here.

It's difficult to write this because as excited as I am to go home and begin a new stage of my life--finding a job (Hopefully, this will happen soon), becoming a North American again, and eating every variety of food I missed in Bolivia--I will miss the land-locked country, and especially the wonderful kids I have worked with. I probably have said this more than 5 times a day recently, but I really wish I could be in two places at once.

Below is a very short, succinct list of things I will miss about living in Bolivia:

• First and foremost, the Children, the Tias, and the Staff of Ninos con Valor--they have all brought so much love and joy, laughter and enlightenment to my life. I will never forgot the amazing memories I shared with them--hiking in the Andes Mountains, laughing until I cried, sleepovers and movie time, putting the kids to sleep, carnival days, amazing hugs and kisses...I could go on forever. But, these very important people are what made my Bolivian experience so wonderful and life changing. 
• The amazing fruits and vegetables. Now, I know most people don't eat this type of food while in a third-world country, but I just couldn't help myself! The very sweet, succulent flavors will remain on my taste buds forever. 
• Celebrating birthdays with the kids is always fun, especially all the traditions, including getting the first, big bite of your cake! 
• The Cancha (The huge outdoor market). You can buy anything and everything, and every time I go, it's a new adventure, which usually means getting lost and wandering around until I find myself in a familiar area. 
• Fresh-squeezed orange juice on the streets, and yes, it's parasite free and amazing! 
• The wonderful friends I have met while here, and the amazingly hilarious times, including riding in the back of pick-up trucks at 2 AM and climbing into dump trucks to visit small communities in the mountains, terrace nights with beers and cacho (A typical Bolivian dice game) and nights spent at Casablance, Na Cunna, and Fragmentos. 
• The public transportation system--it's cheap, easy, and amazingly convenient! 
• The beautiful, green parks and plazas where you can sit and chat, or play and run with the kids. 
• Traveling and exploring the beautiful, diverse, culturally rich country of Bolivia! I greatly enjoyed visiting the different departments--from jungly, humid Santa Cruz to cold, mountainous La Paz! 
• Taking pictures of every little thing to ensure I won't forget what it looked like, what I felt like when I saw it...Pictures for me are a way to continue living a memory--a hug from one of the kids, paragliding in the Andes Mountains, a exotic new food like tongue, dancing traditional Bolivian dances....

This is an extremely condensed version of everything I will miss, but some of the most important things. 

These are the things I am excited about and looking forward to once I hit the ground in Miami: 

• Hugging, catching up, and spending time with family and friends I have missed so much! I can't wait to hear stories from the time I have bee gone, and spend hours chatting. I can't wait to laugh and giggle with my friends! :)
• Eating a variety of foods not found in Bolivia--Thai, Indian, really good Chinese, amazing Mexican, good Italian food, sandwiches (Especially from Genova's), and North American breakfast food. Oh my! 
• Finding a job I am passionate about, which hopefully, happens sooner than later. Because of my time working with NCV, I want to give children a voice, especially those who have been abused and neglected, abandoned and forgotten about. 
• Hot showers that have good water pressure! In Bolivia, the pressure is absolutely horrible, and it takes about 20 minutes to get the shampoo out of my hair. 
• Being able to drink tap water, especially since the water in the Bay Area is from the Gods--It's amazingly delicious! NO MORE BOILING WATER! :)
• Being able to eat fruits and vegetables raw and without cleaning them with chemicals and boiled water. 

It is very strange that this is my last Bolivian blog post. But, I know there will be more in the future.

In a little over 24 hours, I will be in Miami, filled with mixed emotions--yearning to be heading back to South America, but overjoyed and excited to be boarding a plane to California. I may not be able to see the kids everyday, but their smiles and laughter are burned into my memory, my heart, and my soul, and I will see them in my dreams. It will be impossible to erase these wonderful memories or forget the little faces that greeted and bid me farewell with hugs and kisses. 

Oh, Bolivia, you are a special, magical place, and you, along with the children of Ninos con Valor will hold my heart forever.

Until next time, Chao, Bolivia, and chao ninos! Van a estar en mi corazon por siempre. 

Goodbye, Bolivia and My Favorite Children

The goodbye party for some of us volunteers at the boys' home--they are too cute! 

Saying goodbye to the girls and the CdP Tias on Sunday--one of the hardest days of my life. 

Sitting here in a hotel in La Paz, the capital of Bolivia, feeling worlds away from the children, the tias, and the staff of Ninos con Valor. As excited as I am to go home, I miss them already, and feel this weird, empty void. The kids of NCV have taught me so much--undying love, endless compassion, true bravery, unconditional love and joy, and helped me reach a new understanding of my religion. I can't imagine my life without this experience, as I have been changed forever. Thank you to the wonderful kids, and the amazing tias and the staff for the most wonderful memories.

Yesterday, we left Cochabamba in the morning, and it was sad looking out the window at the familiar scenery--barking street dogs, women washing clothes and cooking street food, children walking to and from school in their "guardapolvos" (White coats worn to school), and remembering the amazingly beautiful smiles of the NCV kids that have been burned into my mind, my heart, and my soul.

The girls who have school in the afternoon and the boys at the airport with me--what a wonderful surprise!

We arrived at the airport, and I was trying to push down the feelings of sadness while talking to the airline check-in desk. I turned around, and saw Celia, one of my good friends, and a tia at Corazon del Pastor (The girls' home). She talked to me as I walked to pay our airport taxes. As I turned around, I saw the girls and boys walking in holding hands and carrying signs. I started to cry, since I thought I had seen their beautiful faces for the last time the previous day. We spent some time chatting and taking pictures, and I dreaded when the time came to enter the "boarding room." Giving them hugs and kisses, and having them whisper, "Tia, don't leave," broke my heart. These kids have been my little siblings, brought so much laughter, love, and joy to my life, and taught me lessons of the heart over the past two-and-a-half years. However, despite the sadness, it was so wonderful to see their faces and give them hugs one last time. It was just as difficult to say goodbye to the tias--they have become my friends, invited me to holidays and family parties, and helped me with my Spanish and understanding the Bolivian culture. A few of the tias had tears streaming down their faces, and made me promise to return soon.

We arrived in La Paz, and took it easy, as the altitude had affected all of us. After dinner, I called the girls' home for the last time, which was bittersweet. It was wonderful hearing their voices, but made me sad as they asked where I was, what I was doing, and exclaimed that they all missed me. However, the worst part was talking to one of the older girls--over the past 2 years, we have become good friends, and she was the first older girl to open up and share her life with me. She asked where I was and how my parents and I were doing, and as she started to say "I miss you, Tia," she began to cry--my heart literally broke. I told her how much I loved her and missed her, and we exchanged a very tearful goodbye. It was most difficult to hear her, and know I wasn't close enough to give her a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

Today was a little better than yesterday, but I still think of the kids, and tears come to my eyes. It's difficult to imagine that I'm still in the same country as the children, the tias, and the staff, but I feel like I am millions of miles away, in a whole different world. And, this makes me worry about heading home, which puts thousands more miles between us. I only hope the kids will remember me, and that I can return soon to see their smiling, happy faces, and visit the tias and the staff, who have supported me and shown me friendship and support.

Thank you to my Ninos con Valor family for everything--wonderful memories, love and joy, countless hours of laughter and smiles, friendship, etc. I will never forgot my time in Cocha, and will hold every child and every memory in my heart forever.

Oruro: Welcome to the Devils' Town

The day before Celia and I left for Oruro, a smaller settlement of the Southern Altiplano, I worked a 24 hour shift at the girls' home. Oruro is a miners' city, has an extremely rough, tough climate, which coupled with poverty, has hardened the people. Most of the inhabitants are indigenous and speak Quechua. But, despite the extreme cold and the very high altitude, I enjoyed Oruro, the place with the biggest, most famous Carnaval celebration in Bolivia. Hence, the city of the Devil, as the Morenada, a traditional dance of Bolivia, was created here in this small Altiplano city.

Oruro is about 4-5 hours by bus from Cochabamba, and we arrived around 8:30 AM after waking up in the middle of the night to head to the bus terminal. We arrived, found a hotel, got ready, and set out to explore the city. Our first stop was for a Saltena (A traditional Bolivian snack that is like a pot pie, but picked up, shaken, and eaten.) Because of the altitude, looking back, this was not the best idea, but that part of the story comes later. We then headed to the northern part of the city to the Kantuta market, which is huge! Vendors and sellers line street after street offering deals for clothes and shoes, animals and school supplies, etc. After a few hours, I began to feel the affects of the altitude, and sadly, after getting sick in the market, put an end, and a damper on our first day.

The next day, after getting sleep and becoming more acclimatized, we headed to Obrajes, natural, hot pools about 20 minutes outside of the city. We spent the whole morning relaxing and chatting, while enjoying the nice, warm waters. However, leaving the pools and entering the very cold, chilly air was the worst part.

The main pool at Obrajes, but there are other smaller pools around this one.

After trying to get as dry and warm as possible, and getting dressed, we had a relaxing lunch and then headed back into the city. After dropping our wet clothes off at the hotel, we walked around the city, taking pictures, stopping for warm drinks, and entering small shops. We met up with Celia's friend and made plans for later that night. After a quick shower, we had dinner with Celia's friend, her boyfriend, and two kids. After, we went out to dance and celebrate San Juan, the longest, coldest night in Bolivia. Traditionally, people make bonfires to keep warm and cook hot dogs, while waiting for the sun to come up.

Our last day was packed--we went to see where the famous Carnaval celebration happens every year--Sanctuario de la Virgen de Socavon. Today, a church stands with a portrait of the Virgen, and during the festivities, the dancers enter the church on their knees, crawling to the Virgen, and promising to dance 3 years. However, years ago, this was a mine. This is an interesting parallel--a church, and a mine, which is considered a type of hell by many in Bolivia.

Celia and I in front of the monument to Miners outside of the Sanctuario de la Virgen de  Socavon. 

The Sanctuario de la Virgen de Socavon, the Sacro Museum, and the mining museum.

After walking around the church, we climbed down into the old mine, and saw tools used, the old tunnels, and the "Tio," the spirit of the underground. The miners give coca, cigarettes, and alcohol to the "Tio" to protect them and keep them safe during their time underground. Upstairs, is the Sacro Museum, which holds old dance costumes, church artifacts, etc.

Inside the Santuario--the ceiling is absolutely beautiful, and depicts the Virgen fighting certain evil entities. 

After, we headed to the Faro, where Bolivia's red, gold, and green flag was raised for the first time in 1851. (Red for the courage of the Bolivian army, gold for the country's mineral wealth, and green for its agricultural wealth.) Today, a huge platform with a column topped with a glass globe stands to commemorate this event. From the Faro, you can see the whole city!

The Faro

View of a section of the city from the Faro. 

After the Faro, we walked around and visited plazas and small streets with very old, antique buildings. The zoo was our last stop, and we were accompanied by Celia's friends kids. It was fun to watch as they ran around excitedly looking at the animals. Not wanting to leave, we headed to the bus station around 5 to head back to the city of eternal spring, Cochabamba.

Despite the horrible altitude sickness and the extreme cold, Oruro is an interesting city, hardened by their past of poverty and mining to make a living, as well as the extreme weather. The small city is full of character and history, but is a hidden gem that few have experienced.

Santa Cruz: Welcome to the "Jungle"

Once before, I had a one-night stay in Santa Cruz, and to be honest, it was awful--a very weird, creepy, not so clean hotel; a very shady area around the hotel; and extreme humidity--a horrible combination. Although the heat and humidity were terrifying, my recent excursion to the land of the Cambas (People from Santa Cruz are referred to as Cambas) was, surprisingly, relaxing and fun. I guess I was in the wrong part of the city previously.

 Before we headed east to the city that screams autonomy (Many Cambas/Crucenos want to break apart from the rest of Bolivia to create a new country or join Brazil because of their "more European/North American blood"), a friend said that from what she had heard about Santa Cruz, it was full of good-looking people and cocaine floating in the air. I, on the other hand, thought it was a creepy and very dirty city. However, as it turns out, neither of us were correct.

 My friend, Brianna, and I arrived by bus after a 10 hour ride from Cochabamba. I was very tired (I had worked an overnight shift at the girls' home the night before), sweaty, and to be honest, smelly. I was ready for a shower and some good food. I said goodbye to Brianna, who made life brighter for a few weeks--it was very sad to see her go. After seeing her walk through security, I headed to the city center, and place I realized I had never visited, which is probably why I had these incorrect perceptions of a pleasant city.

 After finding a reasonable, clean hotel, I showered and napped for a bit. After, I headed to one of my favorite places in Bolivia--Alexander Coffee. (Sadly, Alexander Coffee does not exist in Cochabamba.) The rest of the afternoon included stops for cold drinks while exploring the city. I was surprised to find that Santa Cruz, contrary to my previous thoughts, is a friendly, easily walkable, fairly clean, fairly safe, pretty city--I wish I had realized this before!

The Main Plaza

The cathedral in the Main Plaza. You can climb the bell tower, and see the whole city! 

Alexander Coffee--one of the best cafes ever! 

 You may be wondering why the "jungle" is mentioned in my blog title. Well, here begins my adventure and journey into the rough, but beautiful "jungles" of Santa Cruz. The next morning, I headed to Biocentro Guembe, which is a ways from the hustle and bustle of the city center. Guembe is in the "jungle" and is on an enormous property, which includes a beautiful butterfly sanctuary, a "natural" bird habitat, a wild orchid garden, numerous natural pools, museums, animal exhibits, cafes and restaurants, etc. It's an amazing place, but bug repellent is a must. I didn't even realize, but the mosquitos are plentiful and vicious. However, despite the mosquito hordes and my ridiculous amounts of bites, I had a wonderful time wandering around the property, watching the beautiful, delicate butterflies, observing the birds, and swimming and laying by the pool. After a long day in the "jungle," getting, literally, eaten alive, I headed back into the city to have a relaxing late afternoon and night.

One of the hundreds of butterflies in the sanctuary.

Looking towards the city from the tower in the bird sanctuary. 

The orchid garden! 

 My last day in Santa Cruz consisted of a long, relaxing stay at Alexander Coffee, soaking in the atmosphere and the delicious food, and more city exploring. My few days in Santa Cruz were pleasant and relaxing, something I never thought I would say. Thank you for proving me wrong, and being a city of nice restaurants and cafes, easily walkable, clean, safe, fun, and interesting. I can honestly say, Santa Cruz is worth visiting and experiencing!

God is Love.

Since arriving in Bolivia over two years, I have had the time of my life. I have learned more about myself than I would have sitting in a classroom, and I got to experience God in ways I never had.

 I have always “struggled” with my religion, asking God why he allows so much pain and hurt, devastation and sadness to exist. I could never really wrap my head around the fact that, most likely, we are the ones that create the suffering and the anguish. But, working with the amazing children of NCV has opened my eyes to a new beauty of God. God is love. Period. Many of these children have suffered abuse, neglect, abandonment, and trauma; things a child should never have to live through. But, despite these times of sadness and darkness, they still have the ability to love, to trust, to laugh, to smile, and to hug. That is love, and that is God. In their eyes, in their spirits, in their laughter and theoir smiles, in their hugs and their kisses, and in their ability to love immensely and genuinely, I see and experience God. 

Thanks to the children of NCV, I have discovered God–his beauty and his love.

But, My Heart Still Aches...

I guess working in a home for children means learning about the adoption process, and eventually, visiting Child Defense, SEDGES, and the judge who resides over adoptions and family cases. With the assistance of Sonia, Ninos con Valor's social worker, I visited these offices. And I will remember the experience not because it was an enlightening and a learning one, but because of the thousands of children who have been there--files stacked on the floor and being interviewed about their traumatic pasts.

 Sonia needed to check on papers she had submitted a few weeks ago. Because we were meeting one of the OAT families after, I tagged along, thinking what a great opportunity it would be. However, what I saw and heard made my heart ache for all the kids who are part of this very unorganized system. And, of course, their participation is not by choice.

 Our first stop was the psychologist who works for the judge who resides over new adoptions. She was extremely friendly and caring, and is currently observing two kids who have been adopted in the past few months. It was obvious she enjoys what she does, but has seen a lot--too much--of sadness. She chatted with us for a bit, but had to return to a client shortly after. It is comforting to know that a woman so kind, so patient, and so gentle is an integral part of the adoption process--helping and mentoring children, many who have previously been neglected, abused, abandoned, and scarred, and need a positive, caring figure during a time of such change and transition.

 Next, we visited the judge's secretary to check on some paperwork. His half of the office, which is separated from the other by a very full, messy bookshelf, is filled with papers tied together to create files for the children who have been removed from dangerous situations, those in homes, those waiting to be adopted, and those who have been abandoned and neglected. My heart literally broke as I turned in a full circle and saw the hundreds of "files" stacked on the floor, on chairs, bookshelves and on desks. The secretary, an older man, seemed very flustered, and saddened by the astounding number of children who have been, and continue to be affected by violence and neglect. He searched and searched, and finally found the papers Sonia had sent a month before, and had heard nothing about. 

Our last stop was a block to the west--Child Defense. Just entering the building was traumatizing--babies crying, mothers standing in lines, and a mother dragging her child by his arm. This all seemed normal to everyone, which shocked me even more. Sonia walked right in and demanded to speak with one of the case workers. As she talked with him, I looked around as children were getting interviewed and parents were submitting papers to either terminate their rights or to try to regain custody. Despite the fun, colorful paintings on the wall, the sadness and the hurt were palpable and alive. The children sitting at the desks and the on the benches waiting had eyes full of hopelessness and hurt, while the parents had eyes full of regret and pain.

 The fact that a number of the NCV children were those children I saw at Child Defense who had little hope left and yearned for a better life, and once were the "files" stacked around the secretary's office made my heart hurt even more. However, at least 34 children are in a home that supplies love, support, affection, proper nutrition, medical care, counseling, etc. I am privileged to work with these children who have experienced things a child should never have to, but who have survived, grown, and still possess the capacity to love and trust. It truly is incredible.

 But, my heart continues to ache for the hundreds of children who are the "files" on the floor and those in interviews pleading for a better, safer, healthier life.

"I Don't Have a Mom"

Mother's Day tends to be a difficult day for the boys and the girls of Ninos con Valor. A day dedicated to someone who is supposed to protect you, love you, watch you blossom, grow, and mature with enthusiasm and care is hard for someone who lives in a home and has been scarred and damaged by their mother, their friend, their confidant, their #1 supporter.

 I wish I could bottle all the love, kindness, and patience my mom (And my dad) had for me, and share it and spread it around the world to children who are lacking love, and those who have been damaged and neglected, abused and abandoned.

 I have been accompanying one of the middle girls to school on the bus. Earlier this week, we were chatting, and she sadly leaned over and asked a question. "Tia, Is this Sunday Mother's Day?" It took me by surprise, and I didn't know what to do when I saw the pain, hurt, and sadness on her face. "Yes, this Sunday is Mother's Day," I responded. She turned to look out the window, and sadly said, "I don't have a mom to celebrate with."

 This absolutely shattered my heart. I turned to her, and said, "You may not have a mom, but you have lots of tias who love you so much. And, you have 22 sisters who will be your best friends forever. This may not take the place of a mother, but we love you more than you know, and give you all the support, affection, and love we have in our hearts." She smiled, and said, "You're right, Tia." I only wish I could give her more, but sometimes, words, hugs, and smiles are all I have.

 We got off the bus and walked towards her school. I walked her to the door, and as I was about to leave, she grabbed me and gave me a big hug. "Tia, thanks for everything. I love you," she said in my ear. This was a beautiful, tender moment--something I will never forget.

 Thank you, for reminding me how lucky I am to be a part of your lives--celebrating the exciting moments, laughing at the funny and embarrassing moments, and there to provide a hug and a smile during the rough, sad moments.