Life is a struggle. We struggle with school when we are young. We struggle with work when we are older. We struggle with relationships. We struggle with love and hate. We struggle with time. And, as I sit here in my bed, I struggle with distance. Lately, it has been difficult to be thousands of miles from the ones I love. Especially since people are sick and things are wrong. In between waiting for biopsy results about my mom, my dad ends up in the emergency room last night.
I couldn't be happier with my life in Bolivia--working with some of the most amazing people and kids I have ever met, finding myself, and changing my outlook on life. But, news like this only makes me wish I was 2 hours away, and could catch a flight or get in my car. Life works in mysterious ways. As we struggle to help a girl in need within the organization, my heart is being pulled in two directions. I know it is important to stay in Bolivia and do the work I was called to do, but being with my family during this time feels just as right.
Confusion and uncertainty rattles around in my brain as I attempt to sleep. My dad always tells me to compartmentalize, like President Bill Clinton. But, in this case, compartmentalizing is not an option. My mom's results and my dad's health weigh heavy on me, as does my work with Ninos con Valor and the future of a girl that is searching for missing pieces.
So, I guess each day is a struggle. We power through 24 hours with 450 things on our minds. I only hope that love and thoughts, wishes and hopes can cross boundaries and fly to those who are far. Although I cannot hug and kiss you, I can hold you in my heart. Always.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Time
I find that time has been flying by. Days turn into weeks, and weeks into months. I seem to forget that to children time is not as important as it is to us adults. And I hate that I, now in my twenties, dwell and obsess over time. Thinking about how much time is left and how much time has passed has become an everyday event. But, having the opportunity to spend my days with children who possess the ability to appreciate every moment and live in every moment has improved me as a person and enriched my time here in Cochabamba.
Last Friday was a fun-filled day of adventures at Pedactio del Cielo. We had a jam session in the morning! Playing tambourines and drums, triangles and bells, we created a sound that cannot be described. But, was absolutely amazing, and the kids were so proud of the music they were making! As I sat and watched each of the children focused intently on his or her instrument, I realized that time may be passing, but each child was so involved and so wrapped up in the moment--hitting the drum and banging the tambourine to create a unified sound, which brought big smiles and tons of giggles to each face. After the instruments were put away, we began a walking adventure, which I think could have lasted all day, and the kids still would have found enjoyment in pointing out the dogs wandering the streets, the bread in the stores, and the cars driving by. I appreciate, and at times am jealous, that kids can find true, genuine joy in everyday things we ignore and tune out.
Today, while working at Corazon del Pastor, I helped one of the younger girls with her homework. While in college, I came to think of homework as a daunting chore...something that was not always enjoyed. But, she was so excited to complete her homework, and so proud after it was all done. She focused and took time to complete her assignment, something that I think was compromised at times during my college career.
The volunteers of Ninos con Valor venture south to help the foundation in any way possible, but I think that we receive more than we can ever give back to the children we work with. The girls from Corazon del Pastor and the younger kids from Pedacito del Cielo have taught me valuable life lessons that could never be learned in a school. But, as I struggle now with the idea of time--how long to stay in Bolivia, when to head back to the States--I realize that time is not as important as the moments that make us laugh or the moments that bring tears to our eyes. These are what we must count and hold onto, not the hours that pass or the days that slip by.
Last Friday was a fun-filled day of adventures at Pedactio del Cielo. We had a jam session in the morning! Playing tambourines and drums, triangles and bells, we created a sound that cannot be described. But, was absolutely amazing, and the kids were so proud of the music they were making! As I sat and watched each of the children focused intently on his or her instrument, I realized that time may be passing, but each child was so involved and so wrapped up in the moment--hitting the drum and banging the tambourine to create a unified sound, which brought big smiles and tons of giggles to each face. After the instruments were put away, we began a walking adventure, which I think could have lasted all day, and the kids still would have found enjoyment in pointing out the dogs wandering the streets, the bread in the stores, and the cars driving by. I appreciate, and at times am jealous, that kids can find true, genuine joy in everyday things we ignore and tune out.
Today, while working at Corazon del Pastor, I helped one of the younger girls with her homework. While in college, I came to think of homework as a daunting chore...something that was not always enjoyed. But, she was so excited to complete her homework, and so proud after it was all done. She focused and took time to complete her assignment, something that I think was compromised at times during my college career.
The volunteers of Ninos con Valor venture south to help the foundation in any way possible, but I think that we receive more than we can ever give back to the children we work with. The girls from Corazon del Pastor and the younger kids from Pedacito del Cielo have taught me valuable life lessons that could never be learned in a school. But, as I struggle now with the idea of time--how long to stay in Bolivia, when to head back to the States--I realize that time is not as important as the moments that make us laugh or the moments that bring tears to our eyes. These are what we must count and hold onto, not the hours that pass or the days that slip by.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Mizque
One of the best experiences of my life. A trip that puts everything into perspective. Families with a lack of food and resources, but full of love, generosity, and life. Roads of dirt and rocks, but beautiful scenery. Clear blue skies full of surreal clouds.
We set off from Cochabamba on Monday morning for the province of Mizque. Driving through the mountains was absolutely incredible--views of the small communities above and below, waterfalls and beautiful green valleys. We arrived and had a delicious lunch--Pique--a traditional Bolivian dish of meat and potatoes, tomatoes and onions, topped off with ketchup, mayo, and mustard. Then, we spent the rest of the afternoon planning and organizing everything for the next day. After moving and packing boxes full of toys and bags full of food, we headed to the river to relax and put our feet in the cool, calming waters. The river was absolutely beautiful! After a dinner of Sopa de Mani, another traditional Bolivian meal, we helped Tia Evelin get ready for her presentation and played a game of cacho, a Bolivian dice game (That I need to teach everyone when I get home!).
Tuesday was a busy day: breakfast, serving snack and lunch to the local teachers who attended a medical workshop done by Marcelo, the doctor working with Ninos con Valor. Dr. Marcelo discussed the importance of washing hands and how to promote and maintain a healthy, positive environment, especially for kids. After lunch, Evelin began her workshop (taller in Spanish) about teaching tactics and positive care for students. She emphasized the importance of love and respect when working with kids. As Evelin explained, students should respect professors, however, at the same time, professors need to have love and patience, respect and sensitivity when working with kids. Many children do not receive love from parents and siblings, and school should be a place in which any student can find support, love, and understanding people. I helped Evelin with her taller--passed out papers and supplies, as well as performed in the puppet show. After a long day, dinner, a walk to the river, and a few games of cacho were a perfect ending.
Wednesday was our last day, and personally my favorite! After breakfast, we headed to Calera, a small community outside the town of Mizque on top of a mountain. When we arrived, the students in the school danced for us. After their performance, we began painting the faces of the kids and Marcelo saw people from the community who needed medical assistance. The children of Calera were very shy, but warmed up as time passed. Evelin shared a few Quechua phrases with me because it was obvious that may of the children were more comfortable speaking and hearing Quechua. After face painting and candy, we did activities with a parachute, which the kids had a great time as we ducked under, ran under, and put balls on the parachute. Before we left, we passed out toys to the girls, boys and babies, and bags of food to the families and to the school. It was an incredible experience!
I will never forget the excitement the children had during the parachute activities and in line to receive a toy. I will never forget how thankful many of the men and women were for the food and toys for the community. I will never forget the school teacher who is trying to educate the children of the community and helped organize everything--what an inspirational woman. I will never forget the appreciation and kindness we received. I will never forget the beautiful faces of the children.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sad Goodbyes
Yesterday I realized that you never know how much you mean to someone, and how much other people mean to you. I know I have come to care and love the kids I work with and the people I have met in Bolivia but, having to say goodbye really puts things into perspective.
Yesterday, after a busy morning in the Cancha with a team visiting from Canada, the Ninos con Valor family had to say goodbye to Camila, a resident of more than four years. Camila just celebrated her quinceanera, which was quite a blast. I got to know her well over the past months, and will miss her terribly! Camila's departure came as a huge surprise, and the foundation was only given a few hours warning. After a morning trip to the market, we ate lunch, made cards, and threw a despedida (goodbye party) for Camila. It was so hard to say goodbye, as most of the staff, volunteers, and girls were crying. I think that lack of warning and shock of her departure affected everyone deeply. Camila will be missed, and Corazon del Pastor will not be the same without her beautiful, smiling face.
This morning, after a large lunch of chicken and chuno (my favorite type of potato in Bolivia), salad and choclo (corn), I had to say goodbye to my family. It was a tough goodbye because only my sister, Bana, was there. My mom woke me up early this morning to say goodbye, which did not really register in my sleepy, groggy state. After eating together, Bana and I moved all my bags to the porch. As we embraced and said goodbye, Bana began to cry, which made me tear up. As the taxi pulled away, she stood and watched. We both were left crying.
Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do. Saying goodbye to Camila was like saying goodbye to a little sister, and knowing I will probably never see her again made it worse. But, even saying goodbye to my host family, who live 10 minutes from me, was like saying goodbye to my real family. As Bana began to cry, I realized that I had no idea how much she cared for me, and I felt so glad to be a part of her life.
I will cherish the moments spent both with Camila and my family. Watching "Caso Cerrado," a show similar to Judge Judy and our Singani night, our dinner table conversations and playing with the dogs will remain some of my favorite memories with the Mamani-Siles family. Playing Uno and soccer, getting ready for celebrations and chatting, doing division and setting the tables for lunch and dinner were frequent activities with Camila.
I will miss both Camila and my host family so much! My heart aches when I think about Camila, but I hope for a positive future with love and caring for her. She will never know how much she, as well as the other children, have changed my life! I will definitely visit my host family from time to time, and have more Singani nights with Bana.
Yesterday, after a busy morning in the Cancha with a team visiting from Canada, the Ninos con Valor family had to say goodbye to Camila, a resident of more than four years. Camila just celebrated her quinceanera, which was quite a blast. I got to know her well over the past months, and will miss her terribly! Camila's departure came as a huge surprise, and the foundation was only given a few hours warning. After a morning trip to the market, we ate lunch, made cards, and threw a despedida (goodbye party) for Camila. It was so hard to say goodbye, as most of the staff, volunteers, and girls were crying. I think that lack of warning and shock of her departure affected everyone deeply. Camila will be missed, and Corazon del Pastor will not be the same without her beautiful, smiling face.
This morning, after a large lunch of chicken and chuno (my favorite type of potato in Bolivia), salad and choclo (corn), I had to say goodbye to my family. It was a tough goodbye because only my sister, Bana, was there. My mom woke me up early this morning to say goodbye, which did not really register in my sleepy, groggy state. After eating together, Bana and I moved all my bags to the porch. As we embraced and said goodbye, Bana began to cry, which made me tear up. As the taxi pulled away, she stood and watched. We both were left crying.
Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do. Saying goodbye to Camila was like saying goodbye to a little sister, and knowing I will probably never see her again made it worse. But, even saying goodbye to my host family, who live 10 minutes from me, was like saying goodbye to my real family. As Bana began to cry, I realized that I had no idea how much she cared for me, and I felt so glad to be a part of her life.
I will cherish the moments spent both with Camila and my family. Watching "Caso Cerrado," a show similar to Judge Judy and our Singani night, our dinner table conversations and playing with the dogs will remain some of my favorite memories with the Mamani-Siles family. Playing Uno and soccer, getting ready for celebrations and chatting, doing division and setting the tables for lunch and dinner were frequent activities with Camila.
I will miss both Camila and my host family so much! My heart aches when I think about Camila, but I hope for a positive future with love and caring for her. She will never know how much she, as well as the other children, have changed my life! I will definitely visit my host family from time to time, and have more Singani nights with Bana.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
A Sad Reality
The harsh poverty and huge disparity between classes in Bolivia has affected me more than normal lately. As I travel by bus and taxi-trufi, I see young mothers sitting on corners with the saddest, most lonely expressions; I see kids begging in the streets, while their parents stand at a distance; I see young kids between the ages of 6 and 20 huffing glue to numb their feelings of deep hunger and cold; I see old women bent over from carrying vegetables and fruit, babies and beauty products in theiraguayos to sell for a few Bolivians at the major markets; I see people with looks of desperation and fear, defeat and hurt, loneliness and heartbreak painted on their faces.
I had a very interesting discussion with my favorite revolutionary teacher today. I explained, to the best of my Spanish ability, that I was raised Catholic and believe in Catholic Social Teachings and Liberation Theology, but have had and continue to have problems with some of the norms and beliefs of the Church. She commented that she has problems with not only the Catholic religion, but religion in general. She believes that, especially in Latin America, people attribute their strength and accomplishments to God and his power. However, the people throughout these countries have fought tooth and nail, aggressively, passionately for liberation and equality. Many attribute their victories to God, but in reality, the passion of their need for a better tomorrow was the culprit. My teacher explained that just living here is a struggle, and many Bolivians pray tomake it through, but only they can fight for change.
I feel that each day in Cochabamba, Bolivia is full of surprises and learning, and of course fun adventures. In a bit Megan, Samantha, and I are on a hunt for cake, ice cream, and delicious coffee. The cravings never seem to end, but the experience is what I am after.
I am currently reading Paulo Coelho´s The Alchemist in Spanish. Coelho writes that the journey is just as important as the goal you are trying to reach.
I had a very interesting discussion with my favorite revolutionary teacher today. I explained, to the best of my Spanish ability, that I was raised Catholic and believe in Catholic Social Teachings and Liberation Theology, but have had and continue to have problems with some of the norms and beliefs of the Church. She commented that she has problems with not only the Catholic religion, but religion in general. She believes that, especially in Latin America, people attribute their strength and accomplishments to God and his power. However, the people throughout these countries have fought tooth and nail, aggressively, passionately for liberation and equality. Many attribute their victories to God, but in reality, the passion of their need for a better tomorrow was the culprit. My teacher explained that just living here is a struggle, and many Bolivians pray tomake it through, but only they can fight for change.
I feel that each day in Cochabamba, Bolivia is full of surprises and learning, and of course fun adventures. In a bit Megan, Samantha, and I are on a hunt for cake, ice cream, and delicious coffee. The cravings never seem to end, but the experience is what I am after.
I am currently reading Paulo Coelho´s The Alchemist in Spanish. Coelho writes that the journey is just as important as the goal you are trying to reach.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Just Call Me Typhoid Megan!
So, the verdict is in! I officially have the ´phoid! But, have no fear...it is not a bad case. On the typhoid scale, I am in the lower section. The doctor that works for Ninos con Valor read my results and prescribed a few pills to rid me of the disease.
Oddly, I have very few of the symptoms associated with typhoid. No vomiting. No diarrhea. Just a fever, a few sporadic nose bleeds, and a few red spots.
Other than this recent development, I am doing well. I am really enjoying my four teachers I have for these two weeks! One has amazing stories about coming from two very distinct, very different worlds--a Criollo mother and a very Indigenus father. I love talking with her about her life and her experiences, and she really does inspire me to work for what I beleive in! Another is very into the history of Latin America and we spend the whole class talking about the explotation of the ingigenus by the Spanish, the unnecessary US intervention within Latin America, and the current political changes within the countries of Latin America. She gives me tons of book and movie recommendations, which I will one day get to, I hope! The other two focus more on grammar and pronunciation, but still know how to make me laugh and get me talking.
That is pretty much all for now...continuing to enjoy my experiences, even typhoid! But, missing everyone in the states! Sending love!
Oddly, I have very few of the symptoms associated with typhoid. No vomiting. No diarrhea. Just a fever, a few sporadic nose bleeds, and a few red spots.
Other than this recent development, I am doing well. I am really enjoying my four teachers I have for these two weeks! One has amazing stories about coming from two very distinct, very different worlds--a Criollo mother and a very Indigenus father. I love talking with her about her life and her experiences, and she really does inspire me to work for what I beleive in! Another is very into the history of Latin America and we spend the whole class talking about the explotation of the ingigenus by the Spanish, the unnecessary US intervention within Latin America, and the current political changes within the countries of Latin America. She gives me tons of book and movie recommendations, which I will one day get to, I hope! The other two focus more on grammar and pronunciation, but still know how to make me laugh and get me talking.
That is pretty much all for now...continuing to enjoy my experiences, even typhoid! But, missing everyone in the states! Sending love!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Felicidades Maryknoll
Well, I feel like the weeks are flying by...we have already finished 2 weeks of classes, and by the end of this week I will be half way done with my time at the Maryknoll Language Institute. I absolutely love my classes and my professors, and to be honest, am loving studying and homeowrk again! I really feel like my Spanish is improving! My homework for my classes is a lot, and sometimes overwhelming, but is helping me! I have begun my first novel in Spanish--it has been a struggle, but I am trying. At least it is a novel by Isabel Allende, one of my favorite authors!
I have made quite a few friends here at the Institute--we do hang out as much as possible. We have ventured out into the city, and a small group of us headed to Sacaba, a small town outside of the city of Cochabamba last Saturday. We were told Sacaba has cute restaurants and shops, however, we did not find any restaurants or shops. We ventured into a beautiful church in the main plaza of the small town, but had to leave quickly because a funeral was taking place. After about 20 minutes, we headed back to Cochabamba to have saltenas and walk around. I also had the opportunity to hit the town with my host siblings, which was a blast! Before leaving home, we palyed a few Bolivian dice games while drinking a traditional Bolivian drink--singani! After a few rounds and a few glasses, we headed to the centro to dance. I absolutely love my sister Bana! She and I are very alike, and we had so much fun dancing and singing.
We had a Maryknoll family gathering this past Saturday as well, and it made me realize how lucky and fortunate I am to be a part of a wonderful organization that is dedicated to service and justice, education and adventure. The Catholic organization is celebrating its 100th year, and here in Bolivia we celebrated the past years of service within the country. Some of the Fathers and Sisters who arrived in the 60s and 70s shared stories and recollections of a less developed, more rural Cochabamba. I am so proud to be serving with Maryknoll, the first religious organization that came to Bolivia to serve and struggle with the Bolivian people. Other religious organizations dediced not to come to the poorest country of South America because there was too much poverty and little was known about the inhabitants. One sister shared that a campesino shared with her his gratitude and thanks for Maryknoll´s work in Bolivia--something that has stayed with her for years. The campesion said that unlike the Franciscans who brought Saint Francis, and the Jesuits who brought Saint Ignatius, and the Salesians who brought Don Bosco, the missioners and congregation of Maryknoll brought Christ, and for this, he proclaimed he was forever grateful! To 100 more successful years for the Maryknoll family. So grateful to be part of such an amazing religious organization!
Although I am enjoying classes, spending time with other students and my host family, I do miss working daily at the homes. I went to visit Pedacito on Friday, and the hugs and kisses made my day! I miss hanging out with the young ones and the girls!
Still missing everyone from home, but definitely loving every moment here in Cochabamba!
I have made quite a few friends here at the Institute--we do hang out as much as possible. We have ventured out into the city, and a small group of us headed to Sacaba, a small town outside of the city of Cochabamba last Saturday. We were told Sacaba has cute restaurants and shops, however, we did not find any restaurants or shops. We ventured into a beautiful church in the main plaza of the small town, but had to leave quickly because a funeral was taking place. After about 20 minutes, we headed back to Cochabamba to have saltenas and walk around. I also had the opportunity to hit the town with my host siblings, which was a blast! Before leaving home, we palyed a few Bolivian dice games while drinking a traditional Bolivian drink--singani! After a few rounds and a few glasses, we headed to the centro to dance. I absolutely love my sister Bana! She and I are very alike, and we had so much fun dancing and singing.
We had a Maryknoll family gathering this past Saturday as well, and it made me realize how lucky and fortunate I am to be a part of a wonderful organization that is dedicated to service and justice, education and adventure. The Catholic organization is celebrating its 100th year, and here in Bolivia we celebrated the past years of service within the country. Some of the Fathers and Sisters who arrived in the 60s and 70s shared stories and recollections of a less developed, more rural Cochabamba. I am so proud to be serving with Maryknoll, the first religious organization that came to Bolivia to serve and struggle with the Bolivian people. Other religious organizations dediced not to come to the poorest country of South America because there was too much poverty and little was known about the inhabitants. One sister shared that a campesino shared with her his gratitude and thanks for Maryknoll´s work in Bolivia--something that has stayed with her for years. The campesion said that unlike the Franciscans who brought Saint Francis, and the Jesuits who brought Saint Ignatius, and the Salesians who brought Don Bosco, the missioners and congregation of Maryknoll brought Christ, and for this, he proclaimed he was forever grateful! To 100 more successful years for the Maryknoll family. So grateful to be part of such an amazing religious organization!
Although I am enjoying classes, spending time with other students and my host family, I do miss working daily at the homes. I went to visit Pedacito on Friday, and the hugs and kisses made my day! I miss hanging out with the young ones and the girls!
Still missing everyone from home, but definitely loving every moment here in Cochabamba!
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