Bienvenidos, Un Otra Vez

I am currently sitting in the apartment I share with a fellow volunteer in Cochabmba, Bolivia. Being gone for 2 months was difficult-missing special moments with the Ninos con Valor kids and goodbye parties for a few close friends. But, I am so thankful I was able to return home to support my Mom and Dad through a very difficult time. Being able to attend Chemotherapy sessions with my Mom was something I never dreamed I would have to do, but was glad I was there to keep her company. Along with the tough treatment days and the numerous days full of fatigue and nausea that followed, my parents and I were able to spend quality time together--watching the Giants games, seeing the Dallas Mavericks defeat the Miami heat in the basketball championships, special, memorable trips to Carmel and Tahoe. So, when Tuesday, June 14th came, it was so hard to say goodbye to two of the most important people in my life, my heroes. And, the journey from San Francisco to Cochabamba seemed longer and more lonely than usual. But, I know, love defies distance and surpasses boundaries.

Arriving in La Paz and discovering I had no luggage was disappointing, but the American Airlines representative promised I would receive my backpack and suitcase the next day in Cochabamba. After paying for a flight, I sat in the oxygen bar because I was feeling the affects of the high altitude! As I drank a delicious coffee, I looked out at the Andes mountains illuminated by the rising sun-what an amazing, fabulous sight. Shortly after, I was walking on Cochabamba soil! Kimber, my roommate, and Tyson, the director of Ninos con Valor, met me at the airport. It was nice to have company to ride home with after such a long trek. Kimber and I talked and caught up over freshly-baked bagels and coffee. For lunch, I met Dan Moriarty and some Maryknollers for s delicious lunch at Sole Mio. The rest of the day was meeting up with friends for coffee and dinner. And, after a busy day wit no nap, I was in bed early!

Thursday I got to see the girls, which was definitely one of the highlights of returning. I was greeted with hugs and kisses! I missed the girls so much, and am glad to be back, especially in time for their winter vacation. During the short vacation from school, I am hoping to teach art and aerobics classes with the help of DVDs. The past two days I have been able to spend time with the girls and being with them has helped me transition back much easier. I missed their smiles and hugs, playing with them, and the special conversations. Each girl has something special to share with the world, and I am so happy I can be a part of their lives, even if only for a short amount of time! Also, Thursday I went to the airport to pick up my missing bags, which made the settling back in easier.

Friday was also an amazing day because I worked at Pedacito del Cielo, the baby home! They have all grown so much and I was more than happy that each one remembered me. One of the younger boys was crawling when I left, and he is now walking and has developed this amazing personality. The others have matured and learned more words. It was amazing to spend time with the little ones, who help keep a spirit young and bring joy and happiness, even when times are hard. I missed their craziness and being able to lay on the floor and play, playing outside and helping them discover new things about life and the world around them.

Coming back was a difficult decision, but I am glad to be settled back in and ready to begin working again with the wonderful kids of Ninos con Valor. However, family and friends from home are thought about constantly, and missed more than I could ever describe! As Carolina Malo, the Volunteer Coordinator of Ninos, once said, the life of a volunteer or a missionary is split between two worlds. We miss the life and the people we left behind, but know that the other world feels just as right, just as normal. I am living between two worlds, and definitely missing the one I came from!

"Preserve Your Memories"

Simon and Garfunkel once sang, "Time it was, and what a time it was, it was a time of innocence and a time of confidences. Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph. Preserve your memories, they're all that's left."

Over the nine months I have spent in Bolivia, I have acquired thousands of pictures that will be treasured forever.

I could write a long, detailed report of how things have been the past weeks. However, I think photos say it all! Nothing can explain a situation, a memory, a celebration, or an activity like a photo can.

So.....here are a few pictures from the past weeks!

Struggle.

Life is a struggle. We struggle with school when we are young. We struggle with work when we are older. We struggle with relationships. We struggle with love and hate. We struggle with time. And, as I sit here in my bed, I struggle with distance. Lately, it has been difficult to be thousands of miles from the ones I love. Especially since people are sick and things are wrong. In between waiting for biopsy results about my mom, my dad ends up in the emergency room last night.

I couldn't be happier with my life in Bolivia--working with some of the most amazing people and kids I have ever met, finding myself, and changing my outlook on life. But, news like this only makes me wish I was 2 hours away, and could catch a flight or get in my car. Life works in mysterious ways. As we struggle to help a girl in need within the organization, my heart is being pulled in two directions. I know it is important to stay in Bolivia and do the work I was called to do, but being with my family during this time feels just as right.

Confusion and uncertainty rattles around in my brain as I attempt to sleep. My dad always tells me to compartmentalize, like President Bill Clinton. But, in this case, compartmentalizing is not an option. My mom's results and my dad's health weigh heavy on me, as does my work with Ninos con Valor and the future of a girl that is searching for missing pieces.

So, I guess each day is a struggle. We power through 24 hours with 450 things on our minds. I only hope that love and thoughts, wishes and hopes can cross boundaries and fly to those who are far. Although I cannot hug and kiss you, I can hold you in my heart. Always.

Time

I find that time has been flying by. Days turn into weeks, and weeks into months. I seem to forget that to children time is not as important as it is to us adults. And I hate that I, now in my twenties, dwell and obsess over time. Thinking about how much time is left and how much time has passed has become an everyday event. But, having the opportunity to spend my days with children who possess the ability to appreciate every moment and live in every moment has improved me as a person and enriched my time here in Cochabamba.


Last Friday was a fun-filled day of adventures at Pedactio del Cielo. We had a jam session in the morning! Playing tambourines and drums, triangles and bells, we created a sound that cannot be described. But, was absolutely amazing, and the kids were so proud of the music they were making! As I sat and watched each of the children focused intently on his or her instrument, I realized that time may be passing, but each child was so involved and so wrapped up in the moment--hitting the drum and banging the tambourine to create a unified sound, which brought big smiles and tons of giggles to each face. After the instruments were put away, we began a walking adventure, which I think could have lasted all day, and the kids still would have found enjoyment in pointing out the dogs wandering the streets, the bread in the stores, and the cars driving by. I appreciate, and at times am jealous, that kids can find true, genuine joy in everyday things we ignore and tune out.


Today, while working at Corazon del Pastor, I helped one of the younger girls with her homework. While in college, I came to think of homework as a daunting chore...something that was not always enjoyed. But, she was so excited to complete her homework, and so proud after it was all done. She focused and took time to complete her assignment, something that I think was compromised at times during my college career.


The volunteers of Ninos con Valor venture south to help the foundation in any way possible, but I think that we receive more than we can ever give back to the children we work with. The girls from Corazon del Pastor and the younger kids from Pedacito del Cielo have taught me valuable life lessons that could never be learned in a school. But, as I struggle now with the idea of time--how long to stay in Bolivia, when to head back to the States--I realize that time is not as important as the moments that make us laugh or the moments that bring tears to our eyes. These are what we must count and hold onto, not the hours that pass or the days that slip by.

Mizque

One of the best experiences of my life. A trip that puts everything into perspective. Families with a lack of food and resources, but full of love, generosity, and life. Roads of dirt and rocks, but beautiful scenery. Clear blue skies full of surreal clouds.

We set off from Cochabamba on Monday morning for the province of Mizque. Driving through the mountains was absolutely incredible--views of the small communities above and below, waterfalls and beautiful green valleys. We arrived and had a delicious lunch--Pique--a traditional Bolivian dish of meat and potatoes, tomatoes and onions, topped off with ketchup, mayo, and mustard. Then, we spent the rest of the afternoon planning and organizing everything for the next day. After moving and packing boxes full of toys and bags full of food, we headed to the river to relax and put our feet in the cool, calming waters. The river was absolutely beautiful! After a dinner of Sopa de Mani, another traditional Bolivian meal, we helped Tia Evelin get ready for her presentation and played a game of cacho, a Bolivian dice game (That I need to teach everyone when I get home!).

Tuesday was a busy day: breakfast, serving snack and lunch to the local teachers who attended a medical workshop done by Marcelo, the doctor working with Ninos con Valor. Dr. Marcelo discussed the importance of washing hands and how to promote and maintain a healthy, positive environment, especially for kids. After lunch, Evelin began her workshop (taller in Spanish) about teaching tactics and positive care for students. She emphasized the importance of love and respect when working with kids. As Evelin explained, students should respect professors, however, at the same time, professors need to have love and patience, respect and sensitivity when working with kids. Many children do not receive love from parents and siblings, and school should be a place in which any student can find support, love, and understanding people. I helped Evelin with her taller--passed out papers and supplies, as well as performed in the puppet show. After a long day, dinner, a walk to the river, and a few games of cacho were a perfect ending.

Wednesday was our last day, and personally my favorite! After breakfast, we headed to Calera, a small community outside the town of Mizque on top of a mountain. When we arrived, the students in the school danced for us. After their performance, we began painting the faces of the kids and Marcelo saw people from the community who needed medical assistance. The children of Calera were very shy, but warmed up as time passed. Evelin shared a few Quechua phrases with me because it was obvious that may of the children were more comfortable speaking and hearing Quechua. After face painting and candy, we did activities with a parachute, which the kids had a great time as we ducked under, ran under, and put balls on the parachute. Before we left, we passed out toys to the girls, boys and babies, and bags of food to the families and to the school. It was an incredible experience!

I will never forget the excitement the children had during the parachute activities and in line to receive a toy. I will never forget how thankful many of the men and women were for the food and toys for the community. I will never forget the school teacher who is trying to educate the children of the community and helped organize everything--what an inspirational woman. I will never forget the appreciation and kindness we received. I will never forget the beautiful faces of the children.

Sad Goodbyes

Yesterday I realized that you never know how much you mean to someone, and how much other people mean to you. I know I have come to care and love the kids I work with and the people I have met in Bolivia but, having to say goodbye really puts things into perspective.

Yesterday, after a busy morning in the Cancha with a team visiting from Canada, the Ninos con Valor family had to say goodbye to Camila, a resident of more than four years. Camila just celebrated her quinceanera, which was quite a blast. I got to know her well over the past months, and will miss her terribly! Camila's departure came as a huge surprise, and the foundation was only given a few hours warning. After a morning trip to the market, we ate lunch, made cards, and threw a despedida (goodbye party) for Camila. It was so hard to say goodbye, as most of the staff, volunteers, and girls were crying. I think that lack of warning and shock of her departure affected everyone deeply. Camila will be missed, and Corazon del Pastor will not be the same without her beautiful, smiling face.

This morning, after a large lunch of chicken and chuno (my favorite type of potato in Bolivia), salad and choclo (corn), I had to say goodbye to my family. It was a tough goodbye because only my sister, Bana, was there. My mom woke me up early this morning to say goodbye, which did not really register in my sleepy, groggy state. After eating together, Bana and I moved all my bags to the porch. As we embraced and said goodbye, Bana began to cry, which made me tear up. As the taxi pulled away, she stood and watched. We both were left crying.

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do. Saying goodbye to Camila was like saying goodbye to a little sister, and knowing I will probably never see her again made it worse. But, even saying goodbye to my host family, who live 10 minutes from me, was like saying goodbye to my real family. As Bana began to cry, I realized that I had no idea how much she cared for me, and I felt so glad to be a part of her life.

I will cherish the moments spent both with Camila and my family. Watching "Caso Cerrado," a show similar to Judge Judy and our Singani night, our dinner table conversations and playing with the dogs will remain some of my favorite memories with the Mamani-Siles family. Playing Uno and soccer, getting ready for celebrations and chatting, doing division and setting the tables for lunch and dinner were frequent activities with Camila.

I will miss both Camila and my host family so much! My heart aches when I think about Camila, but I hope for a positive future with love and caring for her. She will never know how much she, as well as the other children, have changed my life! I will definitely visit my host family from time to time, and have more Singani nights with Bana.

A Sad Reality

The harsh poverty and huge disparity between classes in Bolivia has affected me more than normal lately. As I travel by bus and taxi-trufi, I see young mothers sitting on corners with the saddest, most lonely expressions; I see kids begging in the streets, while their parents stand at a distance; I see young kids between the ages of 6 and 20 huffing glue to numb their feelings of deep hunger and cold; I see old women bent over from carrying vegetables and fruit, babies and beauty products in theiraguayos to sell for a few Bolivians at the major markets; I see people with looks of desperation and fear, defeat and hurt, loneliness and heartbreak painted on their faces.

I had a very interesting discussion with my favorite revolutionary teacher today. I explained, to the best of my Spanish ability, that I was raised Catholic and believe in Catholic Social Teachings and Liberation Theology, but have had and continue to have problems with some of the norms and beliefs of the Church. She commented that she has problems with not only the Catholic religion, but religion in general. She believes that, especially in Latin America, people attribute their strength and accomplishments to God and his power. However, the people throughout these countries have fought tooth and nail, aggressively, passionately for liberation and equality. Many attribute their victories to God, but in reality, the passion of their need for a better tomorrow was the culprit. My teacher explained that just living here is a struggle, and many Bolivians pray tomake it through, but only they can fight for change.

I feel that each day in Cochabamba, Bolivia is full of surprises and learning, and of course fun adventures. In a bit Megan, Samantha, and I are on a hunt for cake, ice cream, and delicious coffee. The cravings never seem to end, but the experience is what I am after.

I am currently reading Paulo Coelho´s The Alchemist in Spanish. Coelho writes that the journey is just as important as the goal you are trying to reach.