"Is That Me, Tia?"

Doing the life books with the girls has been the highlight of my month, and maybe even the highlight of my time here. It is so wonderful to see them smile and laugh, and reminisce about the past. Many of the girls are plagued and haunted by past trauma, including violence, abuse, neglect, and abandonment. But, to see them smiling, remembering joyful memories makes my heart happy.

Many of the girls, especially the younger ones, struggle with the idea of having their own things. Living in a home, the reality is most everything is shared--school supplies, food, some clothes, toys, and movies. So, to have a book that they themselves have individually made and to have it to cherish and keep forever is something incredible, a very new feeling for them.

Last weekend, I printed tons and tons of photos form when the girls were much younger. Many of them have changed and matured so much, and have blossomed into beautiful young women. But, seeing them as you girls was so fun. We sat and went through each photo, and the girls recounted stories and shared about their first experiences in the home. Although looking at the pictures and watching the girls create these special books that hold their memories is an incredibly amazing experince for me, it was just as incredible to hear them talking about their arrivals at the home, their impressions, their memories. I felt as if I was let into a whole new world, and have reached a new level of trust.

One of the girls, who is now 7, entered the home about five years ago when she was three. Prior to entering Corazon del Pastor, she and her sisters suffered severe physical and psychological abuse, something that still haunts them. I was sitting with her, and she turned to me confused. She asked, "Is that me, Tia?" I looked at the photo and it definitely was her. I said, "Yup, that's you as a tiny girl." It was extremely weird to me that she didn't recognize herself as baby. But, I realized these kids have no pictures from younger years--no photos in the bath tub, riding a bike for the first time, eating solid food for the first time, taking their first steps... This is sad, and makes me realize, again, just how lucky I am to have parents who took millions of pictures of me since I was born.

This project has made me realize that if I had one wish, I would change the pasts of all the kids. I would ensure they had parents who showered them with love and kindness, hugs and kisses. I would make sure they had wonderful memories, which were captured in photos and videos. I would want them to be able to look back at their childhoods fondly and with joy in their hearts. I only hope these books give them a certain peace about their lives, and help them realize that being a "home child" has it's benefits--more hugs, more kisses, and more love from the tias and their "sisters."


Victoria showing off her life book. Although she is young, Victoria has really gotten into the project.


Karina excited to start and thinking about how to display her photos.


Three of the youngest girls working on a page for their books.


Raeka showing some of her photos. She was overly excited about her baby pictures!


Olivia looking through her photos with a smile on her face. She entered the home at a young age also, and was shocked at how little she was five years ago.