I guess working in a home for children means learning about the adoption process, and eventually, visiting Child Defense, SEDGES, and the judge who resides over adoptions and family cases. With the assistance of Sonia, Ninos con Valor's social worker, I visited these offices. And I will remember the experience not because it was an enlightening and a learning one, but because of the thousands of children who have been there--files stacked on the floor and being interviewed about their traumatic pasts.
Sonia needed to check on papers she had submitted a few weeks ago. Because we were meeting one of the OAT families after, I tagged along, thinking what a great opportunity it would be. However, what I saw and heard made my heart ache for all the kids who are part of this very unorganized system. And, of course, their participation is not by choice.
Our first stop was the psychologist who works for the judge who resides over new adoptions. She was extremely friendly and caring, and is currently observing two kids who have been adopted in the past few months. It was obvious she enjoys what she does, but has seen a lot--too much--of sadness. She chatted with us for a bit, but had to return to a client shortly after. It is comforting to know that a woman so kind, so patient, and so gentle is an integral part of the adoption process--helping and mentoring children, many who have previously been neglected, abused, abandoned, and scarred, and need a positive, caring figure during a time of such change and transition.
Next, we visited the judge's secretary to check on some paperwork. His half of the office, which is separated from the other by a very full, messy bookshelf, is filled with papers tied together to create files for the children who have been removed from dangerous situations, those in homes, those waiting to be adopted, and those who have been abandoned and neglected. My heart literally broke as I turned in a full circle and saw the hundreds of "files" stacked on the floor, on chairs, bookshelves and on desks. The secretary, an older man, seemed very flustered, and saddened by the astounding number of children who have been, and continue to be affected by violence and neglect. He searched and searched, and finally found the papers Sonia had sent a month before, and had heard nothing about.
Our last stop was a block to the west--Child Defense. Just entering the building was traumatizing--babies crying, mothers standing in lines, and a mother dragging her child by his arm. This all seemed normal to everyone, which shocked me even more. Sonia walked right in and demanded to speak with one of the case workers. As she talked with him, I looked around as children were getting interviewed and parents were submitting papers to either terminate their rights or to try to regain custody. Despite the fun, colorful paintings on the wall, the sadness and the hurt were palpable and alive. The children sitting at the desks and the on the benches waiting had eyes full of hopelessness and hurt, while the parents had eyes full of regret and pain.
The fact that a number of the NCV children were those children I saw at Child Defense who had little hope left and yearned for a better life, and once were the "files" stacked around the secretary's office made my heart hurt even more. However, at least 34 children are in a home that supplies love, support, affection, proper nutrition, medical care, counseling, etc. I am privileged to work with these children who have experienced things a child should never have to, but who have survived, grown, and still possess the capacity to love and trust. It truly is incredible.
But, my heart continues to ache for the hundreds of children who are the "files" on the floor and those in interviews pleading for a better, safer, healthier life.
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